Monday, October 3

i hate feeling sick

you know how in the bible or in dante's book they talk about purgatory? kinda like the waiting room after you die and you're not really sure if you're going to heaven or hell. or, like in beetlejuice for people who really have no idea what i mean. well...for the past couple of days i have been going through what i like to call "purgatory sickness". not really sick...not really well. you're shaking because you're starving but feel like you're full and might puke if you take a sip of water. lovely, right? no...of course not! it's horrible...it's like i don't want to be sick, but i would appreciate it if my body would just make up it's mind. do you want me to be ill or not? let's go with not! of course, i kinda blame the weather...it's in the 80s all day which means a/c and then drops to the upper 40s at nite and then you need the heat. so your body temperature doesn't know whether to warm up or cool down. i also kinda blame the "flu committee", whatever the hell they're called. ever since the first day of fall all you keep reading about in all of the store papers that come with the sunday paper is: "are you ready for the flu?" um...no.

a few years back...i had to call out of work a couple of days before christmas because i had the flu and got yelled at by my now former boss who said "i would most definitely be working next christmas!" yeah, sorry i couldn't come to work and get everyone sick...i really tried but everytime i tried to stand i would fall back down...damn me for being weak and sick. i mean...i know it's busy during christmas season but to yell at someone because they had the flu is just ridiculous. he even told me my co-workers were mad at me, which wasn't even true...pathetic. so...last year during mid-october i gave my boss 6 1/2 weeks notice...alot i know...but i just wanted to make sure they had someone for the christmas season. i'm nice like that.

but...ever since i got yelled at for having the flu...i have this irrational fear of the flu. call it flu-phobia. i use to try and look on the bright side of the flu, like you lose a few pounds with all the puking...weird i know...but i always get it in the stomach and that's all i do is puke during the flu...so gotta try to look on that bright side. didn't get it last year 'cause i wasn't working and didn't have to be around all the sickies. thank God!! and i wish i could say i don't have to work this season but i have been out of work for almost a year and desperatly need money. so...flu shot this year. i hate needles but hate the flu more. ok...this is really, really long so i will wrap it up now...here's to a healthy non-flu season! cheers!! :)

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