the worst has happened (to me)

before i tell you what the worst thing that could happen to me happened, i have to go back a few years. 5 1/2 years ago i lived in a small town in new jersey. the town was 4.4 square miles, so you could easily walk to the store, school, job, friends' house and families' house. basically if it was in the town, you could walk there. which i did...alot. i didn't have a license until i got one here at the age of 25 'cause i didn't need one there. i was younger there and felt more independence than i have in the past 5 1/2 years since we moved here. and it's not like my parents gave me hell for having to drive me to work, it's just i felt like hell needing a ride for someone. i was use to walking everywhere by myself. i was use to being able to leave the house and go to the store when i felt like it. now, i couldn't. why? 'cause in driving time we are about 10-20 mins. away from any store. and that's going 50-60 mph. so, walking would take a few hours. yes, unfortunately, we live in the country. i hate it here. i know some people dream of living in the country but for a suburbanite/city loving girl like myself, i'm dying inside. the noise of the millions of bugs on a summer nite is enough to drive you crazy. thank God our house is always noisy from tv or radio. i'm actually closer to the airport than i am to a store, a bus line or a taxi service. does that make sense to you? it really doesn't to me. it's now easier for me to just jump on a plane and fly away from the hell that is the country. but, unfortunately i have no money. and no way to make some. if you haven't guessed what's the worst thing that could happen to me is, i'll tell you. our only way out of the country, into normal civilization, our car, died. there was a leak in the radiator, so my dad put some stuff in there to stop it and now there is no water going to the engine to keep it cooled down. so, at any point in one of our past trips to the store, the car could've just seized up. we are so lucky that we got stuck here instead of someplace far away 'cause i'm sure the taxi cost would be through the roof. to let you know how much trouble we could've been in, last thursday my mom, brother and i went all the way up north (30 min drive on the highway going 70 mph) to our favorite japanese restaurant and then to the grocery store. on the way home, my mom, who was driving, asked us if our stomachs felt okay 'cause hers was feeling super hot. we just said no, but later on sunday realized that it was the heat from the engine on her stomach. we would've been in so much shit if the car seized up that far away from home. it's not like we even know anybody that we could've called up for a ride home. it just sucks big time. so, now we are stuck in the house until my parents can save up some money to get another car. they've already done the new car thing and rather get a used one. at least my dad can get to work, he works at the airport which is like i said, basically right across the street. we are going to rent a car once a month to get groceries and stuff like that, but it stills sucks. what else can go wrong in my life? my little definition under the title of the page says "loving life"...maybe i should change it 'cause i'm not loving it now.